


What Gets Us Through the Day

by Marasa



Series: Dream Eater [11]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Bisexuality, Confessions, Crying, Dorks in Love, Fighting, Flirting, Fluff, Homophobia, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Junk Food - Freeform, Kinda, Kissing, M/M, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, Nail Polish, Past Drug Addiction, Prescription Pills, Secrets, Siblings, Social Anxiety, Soft Boys, Thanksgiving
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-23
Updated: 2017-11-23
Packaged: 2019-02-05 22:49:03
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,676
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12804051
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Marasa/pseuds/Marasa
Summary: Tyler watches in confusion as huge balloons of turkeys and cartoon characters are pulled down city streets on the television screen in front of him.





	What Gets Us Through the Day

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Thanksgiving!

Tyler watches in confusion as huge balloons of turkeys and cartoon characters are pulled down city streets on the television screen in front of him.

It's been hustle and bustle all morning, the house saying that they're busy getting things ready for Thanksgiving.

Tyler is left alone on the couch, snuggled up in one of Josh’s sweatshirts, a thick quilt tucked around him, a sleepy kitten dozing on his lap and a strange program he doesn't know the name of playing on the television.

Behind him, the front door opens and closes over and over, bags and boxes and trays being brought into the house in a continuous train that smells wonderful but Tyler can't take his eyes from what is happening in front of him.

He's convinced humans are insane.

Dancers flip down the street while fuzzy puppets sing atop floats that are essentially moving sculptures, intricate and overwhelming. Everyone on either side of the street is smiling and cheering with red cheeks and red noses and big, puffy coats wrapped tightly around them.

Tyler furrows his brow.

Who thinks up this stuff? Why?

He doesn't know whether or not to applaud the awe they inspire within him or simply sit there and question their sanity as the wind threatens to blow a balloon of a chicken into the building beside it.

Suddenly there's a shift in the pillow behind him and a nose nuzzling into the side of his head, a low, playful growl accompanying it.

“Mm, what's up?” Josh hums against Tyler’s head.

The spirit smiles and leans back against him, sweaterpaws pulled up closer to his chest.

“Just thinking that humans are pretty much insane,” Tyler says. “I really don't understand any of you.”

On the television, a man dressed in a peanut costume with a monocle dances atop a large float scooting down the street. People scream and cheer and go crazy for him.

He waves hard, he dances violently. Whoever is inside that costume has to be breaking a sweat, surely.

“Whatta ya mean?” Josh asks like the image on screen isn't evidence enough.

“You pull gigantic balloons down the street and clap for a peanut,” Tyler deadpans.

Josh breathes a laugh into his hair.

“Hm, I don't know,” Josh says. “I don't know why we do this stuff other than it’s fun? Maybe? I mean, I don't get the peanut thing but the balloons are cool.”

Eh. Tyler guesses they're kinda cool.

Josh leans against the back of the couch and watches the television. Tyler forgets the television and watches Josh. He chooses to focus primarily on his soft lips as they pull into a smile at the ridiculous sight before him.

Their date was last weekend.

It was beautiful. It was everything Tyler could ever hope it was. It was still on Tyler’s mind.

He can still see the warm colors of that night when he closes his eyes. He can see the snow so clearly, how it had glowed underneath the darkness of night.

He can almost still feel the exciting chill that had swept through the park where they had shared breath, where they had tasted each other’s teeth, tongue, passion.

It was perfection.

They had yet to properly kiss again.

Tyler didn't know why they hadn't but he still wanted to taste, wanted to be closer. He simply wanted Josh.

But there was more to a relationship than kissing.

Tyler swallows.

 _Relationship_.

They hadn’t discussed what their relationship was. They were still friends, of course, best friends, but the talk of anything more had yet to come up.

Just because they kissed didn't mean they were automatically ‘ _boyfriends_ ’ or whatever. That term alone brings a blush to blossom across his cheeks.

Tyler tries not to think about just how much he wants to be Josh’s boyfriend. It makes his heart beat too fast and his head too dizzy and his smile too wide.

Josh’s eyes drift from the television over to where the spirit is staring at him. The punk’s gaze is warm, soft. The back of the couch creaks as he leans over and presses their foreheads together.

Old affection turns new. Every small caress holds in it a new weight. Tyler is warmer than he's been all morning as Josh breath tickles his face.

“Hi,” Josh whispers.

“Hi,” Tyler smiles.

Tyler wants so badly to kiss Josh right now but stops himself as he thinks that if Josh wanted to kiss him again, he would’ve done it already. Maybe there was a reason, maybe a timing issue.

Tyler didn’t know and didn’t want to risk the awkwardness, plus, it was always so hard for him to make the first move.

Tyler settles for nuzzling their noses together in a gentle eskimo kiss motion instead.

“Cuddle with me,” Tyler says quietly. It’s kinda embarrassing to admit it but it’s a holiday and there’s snow outside and he’s so cozy; naturally, he wants Josh here beside him to share in the beauty of it all.

Josh smiles. “Later, baby, I promise. We gotta do food introductions.”

“Food introductions?”

Josh stands from the couch and holds his hand out for Tyler so he can jump over the back of the couch.

Tyler gently sets aside a sleeping Blurry and jumps over the back of the couch. He stumbles a little into Josh when he lands. They share a quiet giggle.

Whatever ‘food introductions’ is has turned the whole kitchen into chaos.

The house is all preparing large platters, the contents of which are mostly hidden behind napkins or extravagant lids. It smells heavenly but there's not one hint of what their foods look like.

“What is this?” Tyler asks.

He leans into Josh’s side as he watches them run back and forth from the counter to the refrigerator, taking things out of huge paper bags and assembling them discreetly. Josh’s arm is wrapped around his waist, thumb stroking gently at his hip bone.

Jordan barely turns around from where he shuffles around a plastic tray. “We do it every year.”

“‘Cause Thanksgiving food suuuuucks,” Mark groans. He’s shuffling around items on a platter hidden behind a wall of cereal boxes.

“The only exception are the pies,” Josh says.

The rest of the house nods their agreement. There are two pumpkin pies, one apple pie and one cherry pie on the counter. All of them are store bought.

“We all pretty much hate traditional Thanksgiving food,” Hayley says, “so we buy our own foods to make the very best Thanksgiving feast we can.”

“It’s turned into somewhat of a competition between us,” Josh snickers.

“Friendly competition,” Jordan says.

“Friendly?” Hayley smirks.

Mark laughs. “Hardly.”

They all look up at the sound of the backdoor opening and closing. Michael steps in from having a quick smoke outside, stomping his boots of snow on the mat.

Suddenly, they’re all lined up in the kitchen by their respective hidden entries in this year’s Thanksgiving feast competition. Josh joins the line in front of a large platter covered with a napkin.

Michael comes into the kitchen and stands before them, falling into his dramatic role as the judge that will be naming one of them the winner. The winner of what exactly, Tyler doesn’t know.

Thanksgiving? Food? He doesn’t get it.

The eldest looks up and down the line. He looks at silhouettes of the hidden entrees that crowd the counter. He looks at the spirit standing right beside him.

“I didn’t bring anything ‘cause I didn’t know this was happening,” Tyler says.

Michael allows his character to break so he can laugh and ruffle Tyler’s hair. “That’s perfectly fine, Tyler; it’s your first Thanksgiving, anyway. Don’t worry about it.”

Tyler smiles.

“Alright!” Michaels says with a clap of his hands. “What do we have for our feast this year? Mark! You’re up!”

They watch in anticipation as Mark raises his hand with a deep breath and then slaps away the five cereal boxes. They tumble to the ground dramatically.

“Wing Stop Original Hot Wings and a four sides of French fries!” Mark announces proudly.

They clap. Mark bows. “Thank you, thank you.”

“Not bad,” Michael says with a nod. He turns to the girl to Mark’s right. “Hayley?”

Hayley has brought two different orders of fifteen mini sandwiches each, from her favorite vegan restaurant not too far from them.

Next is Josh, who has brought four boxes of tacos and a side order of chips and cheese straight from Taco Bell. He even threw in a couple caramel apple empanadas.

Michael seems to be thoroughly impressed by their choices this year. He nods and murmurs to Tyler that this is going to be a hard decision. Tyler tries not to laugh.

“Jordan,” Michael says finally, still maintaining his character as a Thanksgiving food aficionado, “you requested to go last?”

Jordan smiles. “Yes and that is because I sincerely believe I cannot be beat.”

“Yeah, okay,” Mark says with a roll of his eyes, “‘cause it’s not like you fucked up last year.”

Jordan looks over at him. “I said I was sorry.”

“It’s gonna take a lot more than just a ‘sorry’ to make up for giving us all a brutal case of food poisoning,” Josh says.

“I swear I still get stomach cramps from that meal,” Hayley says.

Mark nods in agreement. “It fucked my stomach up permanently, I think.”

Tyler giggles. He doesn’t want to know what food they’re referring to but he kinda does.

“I am going to prove you all so fucking wrong this year,” Jordan says.

“Go on then,” Josh urges. “Prove us wrong.”

Jordan scowls at his brother but takes the edge of the large napkin thrown over his platter and pulls it off like he’s a magician performing his most impressive trick yet. They all watch closely.

“Three full platters of Chik-fil-A chicken nuggets and two gallons of Chik-fil-A’s specialty sweet tea!”

They all clap loudly and murmur comments of surprise at Jordan not fucking it up. The younger Dun beams as he’s patted on the back.

“Jordan is the winner,” Michael says like it’s no competition. It kinda isn’t; those nuggets are bomb.

They grab paper plates with cute little cartoon turkeys printed on them and begin serving themselves.

They’re laughing and pushing each other playfully, Josh making sure Tyler has at least one serving of every food provided before the other ‘ _greedy hellions_ ,’ as he describes them, can eat it all.

Josh picks up a nugget from Jordan’s tray and turns around to where his brother is walking to the breakfast table that is their dinner table tonight.

“Catch!”

Jordan whips around almost on instinct at that simple command and catches the nugget in his mouth expertly. The brothers cheer loudly in celebration.

“ _Stop. Throwing. Food,_ ” Michael growls as they all start to sit down at the table.

The paper tablecloth hosts a myriad of badly drawn turkeys drawn by Mark, evidence being that he signed his name under each and every one of them.

Instead of a table runner or a vase of flowers in the middle of the table, there are instead crayons and markers, just in case any of them want to challenge Mark in drawing a better turkey.

Everything is a competition between them.

Friendly? That’s up for debate.

Tyler smiles at Josh as the blue-haired man finally sits down beside him. Josh smiles back.

“You get everything you want?” he asks with a nod to Tyler’s moderately full plate. The spirit nods and takes a bite out of one of the tacos on his plate.

Just as Josh is about to follow Tyler’s lead and indulge in the deliciousness of Taco Bell, the doorbell rings.

It goes quiet as they all look at each other curiously.

“Did someone order pizza?” Hayley says.

“I didn’t,” Jordan says.

“I didn’t,” Michael says.

“One of you dummies did,” Josh says.

The doorbell rings again.

“Whatever, I’ll get it,” Josh says with a roll of his eyes as he stands from the table. Almost immediately do the rest of them return to their loud conversations that consist mostly of playful arguing.

Josh nudges Tyler. “Hey, come help me. There’s probably gonna be more than one pizza and I’ll need help carrying them.”

Tyler rises from the table and follows him to the door.

“At this point, pizza’s lazy,” Josh grumbles, “even for us.”

“Mark?” Tyler smirks.

“Oh yeah,” Josh says. “I'm ninety-nine percent sure he called it in. Probably forgot about it. And knowing him, he probably didn't even get Domino’s. Fuck, dude.”

Josh pulls out $40 from his wallet and throws open the door.

“Hey, sorry, dude. How much is-”

Josh freezes. Tyler’s smile falters. He follows Josh’s gaze to whoever is outside.

Standing in the door is not a pizza delivery guy, but rather a girl who looks to be no older than sixteen. She has light hair and a fluffy sweater and a huge smile on her face that only grows brighter with each second she looks at the blue-haired man.

“A-Abby?” Josh says.

The girl smiles. “Hey, Josh.”

Then, Josh is freaking out.

One second he’s standing there and the next he is hugging the girl like his life depends on it. Tyler watches awkwardly as Josh envelops the girl in his arms and pulls her into the house. She hugs him back.

Josh is laughing, screaming and spinning her around in a circle. He sets her down and touches her face, her hair, her shoulder, like he can't believe she's real.

Tyler watches quietly, unsure of his place in all this.

“What the fuck?!” Josh says. “What the fuck are you doing here?! What the fuck?! What the fuck?!”

“I know!” Abby says. “I was gonna spend Thanksgiving with a friend and then some guy dropped your name at a party we went to last night. He said you lived around here, so I did some detective work and here I am!”

“Parties?” Josh chuckles, looking mildly concerned. “Jesus, Abby, do I gotta start worrying about you? Going to parties, being an actual teenager.”

He laughs. “What the heck! This is insane!”

She looks at the taller man and then her gaze drifts over to Tyler who's been watching them from where he stands awkwardly against the wall behind Josh. Tyler is shy under her gaze.

Josh turns to where she’s looking. His face lights up all over again.

“Tyler, Tyler,” Josh says, still excited. He reaches out for Tyler’s hand and pulls him from the wall. He wraps an affectionate arm around the spirit, squeezing his waist. “Tyler, this is my sister, Abby.”

Tyler looks up at him. “S-Sister?”

She does kinda look at him. Her smile, her eyes, her nose- all of it is vaguely familiar.

“Abby,” Josh says, “this is my best friend, Tyler.”

“It’s nice to meet you,” Abby says. “You...have red eyes?”

Shit.

They had never talked about what to do in a situation like this. They go quiet, looking at each other for some kind of answer. Josh thinks up surprisingly quick.

“Tyler is very tapped into the fashion world. The fashion underground, more like it,” Josh says. “He's like...ahead of everyone. He makes trends, y’know? Colored contacts will be the big thing in, like, three years. Eccentric guy. Heart of gold.”

“Oh.” Abby nods absently, confused. She turns back to Tyler. “Where are you from?”

“Another dimension,” Tyler answers without any thought.

Abby looks at Josh.

Josh chuckles nervously. “See what I mean? Real visionary.”

They shut the front door before any more snow can get into the house and then Josh is excitedly leading his sister down the hall to the kitchen saying something about how Jordan is gonna freak out when he sees her.

He’s right because as soon as they step into sight of the kitchen, the whole house turns to look at them and then Jordan is standing from the table suddenly, eyes wide and mouth open in shock.

“Abby!” he nearly screams.

He runs from the table and nearly tackles the poor girl as he pulls her into a hug.

“Jordan!” she laughs and hugs him back. Jordan pulls away just enough to take a good look at her, a film of moisture gathering in his eyes.

“I-I haven’t seen you in forever,” he says, voice cracking. “ _We_ haven’t seen you in forever.”

“I’m here now.” The girl looks between her brothers. “I’ve missed you both so much.”

Tyler watches silently as all three siblings share a hug.

There are so many questions running through his head, like why did he not know about Josh’s sister or why haven’t they seen her in so long?

The scene is heartwarming but Tyler looks on with a weak smile as he realizes that he doesn’t know anything about Josh, not really.

“You’re gonna stay for dinner, right?” Josh asks his sister.

“Please, stay,” Jordan pleads.

“Of course I’m gonna stay,” she says, “if you have room for me.”

They make a space for her at the table, Abby’s brothers making her a huge plate of sandwiches and wings and tacos and nuggets. She’s somewhat taken off-guard by the food selection but happily approves of their unique feast.

Abby introduces herself to the rest of them who are at the table and is accepted readily by all of them. Even though they’ve never seen her before, they allude to having heard of her.

Tyler tries not to look hurt at the fact that he was the only one who did not know her.

Abby speaks about what she’s been up to, how school’s been, about the party last night and her friend’s weird family and how she’s so glad that she’s here to spend the holiday with her brothers.

“So, Tyler,” she says surely twenty minutes later. Tyler whips his head up, anxious. “You seem to be a cool guy. The red eyes are actually growing on me.”

Tyler shrugs shyly.

“Abby,” Josh says as he shovels some fries into his mouth, “Tyler is the coolest person I have ever met, hands down. He’s the best, you have no idea.”

Tyler blushes and shakes his head. “I-I don’t know about that…”

“No, I’m serious,” Josh says, looking at Tyler. “You’re amazing. I’m so thankful to have you in my life.”

They look at each other and suddenly, everyone else melts away. It’s almost as though they can see into each other’s soul in this unbroken gaze of warmth and awe. There is no hiding, there is no lying.

Josh’s expression falters minutely as he finally notices that something is bothering the spirit.

“Tyler,” Josh whispers for just him, brow furrowing subtly.

“Oh, are we doing what we’re thankful for?” Mark says from around a empanada. “Cool, I’ll go next.” His cup of sweet tea spills a little onto the table as he raises it before himself in a toasting motion.

He clears his throat. “I’m thankful for my new PS4 and our Netflix subscription. Countless hours of entertainment- it’s been a really good investment and I am forever grateful.”

They grumble and roll their eyes but toast their drinks, albeit half-heartedly.

Josh’s hand comes to rest on Tyler’s knee under the table, thumb running back and forth over his knee. Tyler welcomes the comfort the gesture gives him. He laces their fingers together and leans his head against the man’s shoulder.

“Are you okay?” Josh whispers to him as Jordan begins to say what he’s thankful for.

Tyler doesn’t answer or look up. He hates that not knowing about Josh’s past is bothering him this much.

“Tyler, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” Tyler murmurs against his shoulder.

“I can tell something’s wrong.”

“Nothing’s wrong.”

“It’s obvious something’s on your mind. What’s going on?”

“Nothing’s going on.”

“Tyler-”

“ _Josh, please,_ ” Tyler says, telling the man to drop it while they’re having Thanksgiving dinner.

When the spirit finally looks up at him, he can see the hurt in Josh’s face. The feeling of guilt joins the other feelings of inadequacy and hurt that are eating away at him.

Hayley begins to say what she’s thankful for and Tyler’s gaze drifts across the table to where Abby is looking at him almost knowingly.

Tyler immediately sits back up and pulls his hand from Josh’s, embarrassed.

He stares at his plate and ignores the look of deep hurt to his left.

“I’m thankful for all of you,” Michael says where he sits at the head of the table. The sincerity in his voice causes them to all be still. “My gratitude for each and every one of you being in my life can never be expressed. You’re my family and I love each of you.”

They all raise their glasses seriously at that.

“And I’m also very thankful for the delicious dessert we’re about to have,” he says. They laugh.

They converse over pie and ice cream about their favorite Netflix shows before telling horrifically funny stories about their experiences during an annual shopping spree called, ‘Black Friday.’

Just another piece of evidence in Tyler’s theory that humans are insane.

Josh and Jordan talk with their sister some more and reminisce on a few memories that give a glimpse into Josh’s unknown past.

Tyler freezes up whenever he begins, hanging on every word and wondering to himself why Josh has yet to tell him any of this.

A piece of him feels like maybe he doesn’t deserve to know.

Maybe he isn’t that important in the span of Josh’s life. Maybe he’s just a phase that Josh doesn’t want to reveal too much to because he’ll eventually move on from the red-eyed freak he was infatuated with for a year or two.

Maybe Josh hasn’t said anything about his past because he doesn’t trust Tyler as much as he says.

It hurts him gravelly when he thinks about it.

After dessert, they all go their separate ways, some of them beginning to clean up while some of them lay on the couch for a brief nap. Josh beckons Abby to come see his room and Tyler tags along.

“You really need to clean up in here,” the girl chides. “Tyler, get on him and make sure he cleans up.”

Tyler forces a smile.

Josh falls on the bed with an ‘oof.’ “Geez, I’m stuffed.”

Tyler sits beside him on the bed. Abby looks at the books on Josh’s far shelf.

“I didn’t know you were still in Ohio,” Abby says suddenly. “If I knew, I would’ve tried to get in touch with you sooner.”

“You’re here now,” Josh says with a smile. “That’s all that matters.”

“I think Mom thought you were in California,” Abby says. “You always talked about California. We just assumed, I guess.”

Josh is still smiling but his expression holds a little more tension.

“Well, I'm not,” he says lowly. “I'm right here. You're not gonna tell her I’m still in Ohio, are you?”

Abby shakes her head. “No.”

Tyler stays quiet, brings his knees up under his chin and hugs them to his chest. He has no idea what they’re talking about, why they’re talking about it that way and Tyler has never felt so pathetically left out.

He hides his face in his knees.

“Oh, I remember when I used to paint your nails,” Abby says fondly as she spots a bottle of black nail polish tucked behind some water bottles on Josh’s desk. It’s Hayley’s but Josh had needed it to secure an unraveling shoelace on his pair of vans.

Abby perks up and turns around to them. “I have some with me in my purse! Let me go get it!”

The girl hurries out of the room to go fetch the nail polish so she can hopefully paint one of their nails, maybe both of them if she’s lucky.

The door isn’t even completely closed behind her before Josh is whispering to him.

“Tyler,” Josh urges. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.”

Josh sighs and sits up. “Tyler, you haven’t said a word in forever, you’re hiding, you won’t even look at me. I know something’s wrong and it hurts me when you straight up lie to my face.”

Tyler tries to keep it all in but can’t.

“Well, it really hurts me to know that you think you can’t talk to me about your past.”

Josh blinks. “What?”

“I-I…” Tyler sighs, “I don’t know anything about you. I thought I did but apparently I don’t know much.”

Josh forces a laugh in an attempt to lighten the mood. “Dude, that’s what you’re upset about? That’s not even that big of a deal. I mean, I don’t know anything about your past.”

It frustrates Tyler that he’s not taking this seriously.

“I don’t have a past!” Tyler exclaims louder than he intended. Josh’s face falls, broken heart at making Tyler so upset showing in those deep brown eyes.

“I-I lived in a dimension where time didn’t even exist,” Tyler says. “I don’t have a family, I don’t have friends, I don’t have a past! That’s it!”

The spirit breathes heavily as he stares at Josh. He’s angry, frustrated, generally upset. Despite his somewhat intimidating demeanor, Josh touches his cheek, desperate to comfort him.

“Tyler,” Josh says gently, “you have friends, you have a family. You have us, you have _me_. Please don’t tell me you thought you didn’t have anyone. _Baby_.”

Tyler whines, maybe in frustration, maybe in confusion, mostly in hurt.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you had a sister?” he says.

Josh’s hand slowly drops from Tyler’s face.

“W-Why haven’t you ever brought her up before? Why haven’t you seen her? Where has she been all this time? She’s your sister, but then why does she say she doesn’t know where you’ve been?”

Tyler thinks he should be crying by now but he can’t summon tears when he’s this jumbled up emotionally. Josh doesn’t speak a single word.

“Joshua,” Tyler says, “I want to know you, but you won’t let me. It hurts me so much that you won't let me.”

Josh’s lips tremble like he wants so badly to say something but can’t bring himself to. He purses his lips, breathes shakily through his nose. He can’t make eye contact with Tyler.

Josh watches as the door to the bedroom opens and Abby steps in with a bottle of white nail polish.

“Alright, who’s first?” she says, smiling, oblivious to what has just happened between them.

“Tyler’s first,” Josh says quietly, voice absent of any previous excitement or joy. “I gotta...gotta...u-um, go put up some of the food. I just...I’ll be right back. Sorry.”

He stands from the bed, giving his sister a quick hug before leaving out the door. Tyler feels like shit as the man disappears down the hall with a look of hurt on his face and his hands in his pockets.

“Okay, Tyler,” Abby says sweetly. She sits down across from him. “Fingernails or toenails?”

“T-Toenails…” Tyler replies.

He sheds his socks and presents his bare feet to her. She uncaps the nail polish and starts at his big toe on his left foot.

It’s quiet long enough for Tyler to mostly calm down and for the regret at saying that shit to Josh to really settle within him. He rests his cheek on his knee and looks down to where the nail polish is brushed over his nails and, occasionally, his skin.

“So, Tyler,” the teen says, “I noticed you didn’t talk much tonight.”

Tyler shrugs shyly.

“Just anxious, I guess,” he whispers.

“You get nervous around other people?”

“Yeah,” he says. “New people, especially…”

“I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable,” she says with a frown.

Tyler shakes his head. “You didn’t do anything. You’re very nice. I-It’s me who’s weird.”

Abby smiles and moves onto the next toe.

“You’re not weird at all. Well,” she corrects herself, “maybe just a little weird, but in, like, a cool way. I can see why my brother likes you so much.”

The tips of his ears burn in embarrassment.

“Y’know,” she continues, “Josh used to be really anxious when he was younger. I remember him staying home often and I was always so jealous ‘cause his high school class always got to go on field trips and he never wanted to go, all ‘cause of his social anxiety.”

Tyler furrows his brow.

Josh was...socially anxious? THE Josh Dun who was a drug dealer and who beat people up at parties who bothered him and who was cool and collected and easy-going?

“I’m kinda surprised he managed to get a job,” she says. “Where’s he work?”

There’s a long pause between them. The girl looks up from his feet to him.

It all seems to click at once as she looks at him- the house isn’t impressive but the high dollar items they have inside are worth noting, as is the expensive, gold watch Michael always wears on his wrist and nice television, the newest video game consoles, the high-tech coffee machine.

Then there’s how all the questionable outcasts know the name of Josh and all his friends so well and how they have all their phone numbers in their phones.

Abby quirks an eyebrow. “I don’t wanna know, do I?”

Tyler shakes his head.

She sighs but goes back to painting his toes. “I’m not that shocked, honestly.”

Tyler doesn’t ask her what they means. He feels like he doesn’t have the right to pry.

It’s quiet between them for a considerable amount of time. It’s not exactly comfortable; Tyler finds himself getting tense and wishing Josh was back in the room.

He wonders how upset Josh really is. Tyler didn’t mean to hurt him; _he_ was the one who felt hurt at being so left out of what everyone else seemed to know.

They had cuddled. They had held each other. They had seen each other cry. They had held hands. They had gone on a date. They had kissed.

They were best friends.

Tyler thought that counted for something, but apparently not, because the only one who has no idea about Josh’s past is him.

Then, Abby asks him a question that only increases the tension between them.

“You like my brother, don’t you?”

Tyler’s cheeks go warm. He looks away. Abby smiles knowingly.

“You've kissed him, haven’t you?” Her teasing smile quickly shifts to one of comical disgust. “Gross, don't talk to me about it.”

“I-I _wasn't_ ,” Tyler whispers. He's nervous, uncertain. He doesn’t want to have this conversation with Josh’s sister.

“It's okay,” Abby says with a quick chuckle, nail polish brush still painting his toenails white. “I'm a lot more accepting than my mom.”

Tyler furrows his brow. He doesn't understand what she means. His silence brings Abby to look up at him again.

Her painting stops. Her eyebrows twitch in confusion. She cocks her head ever so slightly.

“You don't know much about my brother, do you?” she says, sounding a little confused.

Tyler tries not to tear up. Abby doesn’t seem to notice how she has just validated his inner turmoil.

She looks back down and keeps painting his nails as she starts her story.

“Josh was always kind of...a troublemaker,” Abby says. “He used to hang out with a bad crowd. Mom hated his friends and when Josh refused to drop them, Mom started getting frustrated.”

“They started smoking, doing rebel kid shit,” she says. “Cigarettes. Then weed. Then dropping acid. Then the pills.”

Abby sighs, like the memory greatly troubles her. “I'm not saying marijuana is a gateway drug. It's just that those specific kids happened to have weed and their parents’ painkiller prescriptions.”

The spirit’s blood goes cold. “Prescription...pills?”

Tyler feels like maybe he shouldn't be hearing this. This is serious. This should be coming from Josh, but Abby can't stop talking.

“She, like, freaked the first time she found him totally out of his mind in the basement. Josh had been hiding all these pill bottles under his mattress- _Mrs. Harris, Mr. Daniels, Ms. Lee_. He’d take so many every day. I'd find him in the basement just out of it. Paranoid. Incoherent. Falling asleep. He was...not himself for a long time. Like, a reeeally long time.”

Tyler’s chest aches at the information. He imagines the scene and can't stomach it. With every second more into this story, he feels that more upset.

“It was bad,” Abby says. “He was going to school high out of his mind, passing out at his friends’ houses, totally strung out most, if not all, the time. Just...the whole thing was really bad. If Mom was frustrated with him before, she was resentful toward him when he needed her most.”

Tyler tries to form the words, ‘ _Dont. Please stop. I don’t want to hear this_ ,’ but they get stuck in his throat. This is exactly what he wanted, wasn’t it? The truth? The past?

He realizes the reason for his discomfort is because it’s coming from someone who isn’t Josh.

This is intimate and it isn’t right that Abby is telling him this, but she’s so caught up in just talking to someone who is outside of the family; the poor girl just wants to vent and Tyler is too shaken up to form the words he so desperately wants to.

“And you'd think that the most upsetting thing for a mother to see is her son drooling on himself and passing out as he slowly kills himself, right?” Abby scoffs. “Well, Josh says one night when he’s high and can barely talk, ‘ _I like girls and boys_.’ And what does Mom say? She says, ‘ _You're no longer my son. Get out of my house.’_ ”

It's quiet.

Tyler fists the comforter until his knuckles are white. His heart is rattling inside his chest. Hurt and panic is slipping into his bloodstream.

This is too much. Josh should be here, Josh should be the one to say this. This is too much all at once from a girl he doesn't even know.

Tyler needs Josh here. He needs Josh.

“It's crazy that _that_ was what got him kicked out, not all that other shit,” she says. “There wasn’t any arguing with Mom. Josh left. Jordan went with him. Jordan said he would never leave his brother, especially when he was so sick. Josh would probably be dead without him.”

She shakes her head. “I couldn't do much. I was younger than them. What was a young kid going to say to change her furious mom’s mind?”

Abby sighs and moves onto Tyler’s other foot.

“It’s crazy when you really stop to think about it,” she says. “Josh was only seventeen when he was kicked out. Jordan was fifteen when he went with him. Both suddenly homeless. Both of them kids. One of them addicted to pills. I have no idea how my brothers are still alive, but I'm so, so glad they are. They're the strongest people I know.”

This is too much.

Tyler doesn't initially notice that his eyes are filled with tears until they're silently spilling over and streaming hopelessly down his face.

“Hey,” Abby says when she finally looks up at him after a long stretch of silence, “are you oka-”

“Why would she do that to her own son?”

Tyler is panicked, an inkling of a sickness growing in his gut. Breathing is harder. His muscles are trembling.

“Josh is her son, why would she hate him?” Tyler rambles. “I-I d-don't understand, I-I can't.”

“It happened so long ago,” Abby says. “They look to be in a better place. Both of them look happy and healthy.”

Tyler takes his feet from in front of Josh’s sister and stands from the bed.

“No, it's not fine! Joshua is the kindest person I've ever met. He's sweet and-and-and selfless and loving and c-cares about his friends.” Tyler blinks, furrows his brow, looks to the floor confused through a thick film of tears. “How could she hate him?”

“I don't know, Tyler. She’s just not that tolerant, honestly,” Abby says. She sounds a little regretful for sharing all this information with him and overwhelming him.

Tyler takes a step back and then turns and hurries out the bedroom door, feeling panicked and lost and heartbroken on account of the man who has his heart.

“Hey!” Abby says after him. “You're gonna mess up your nail polish!”

Tyler stumbles into the kitchen to see Josh leaning with his back on the sink. He chews on presumably another chicken nugget and promptly swallows.

Josh looks at him as he enters. “Hey-”

Tyler hurries over to the blue-haired man and falls into his chest.

His arms are wrapped so tightly around him that it almost hurts. Tyler’s eyes are squeezed shut. Each breath of his comes out broken.

“I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry,” Tyler cries against the man’s chest.

Strong arms are wrapped around his trembling body immediately at the sound of his sobs.

“What's wrong, Tyler?” Josh whispers to him, shoulders hunched and a hand on the back of his head in a gesture of deep protectiveness, like he’s trying to wrap completely around him and shield him from hurt. “What happened?”

“Sh-She doesn't know you like-like I-I do,” Tyler sputters. “You deserve all the l-love in the-the world, Josh. I'm sorry, I-I’m so sorry she did that t-to you.”

There's a pause, perhaps considering Tyler’s muffled, tearful response or the fact Josh doesn't know what he's referring to.

It only takes a moment though, and then Josh is holding the spirit closer and answering him.

“I got over it a long time ago, Tyler.”

Tears stream from Tyler’s eyes. “Y-You shouldn't have to, Joshua.”

“But that's how life is.”

Tyler pulls back. Josh smiles softly at him, flattered by the fact Tyler is weeping for him, but at the same time, entirely upset that Tyler is indeed crying for him.

There's hurt there that’s been dug up at the mention of his mother, even though he's trying to seem unaffected.

“I'm sorry, Joshua, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.” Tyler apologizes as though it is his fault. “I’m sorry I tried to get you to talk about it when you weren’t ready. I’m sorry I know about it now. I’m sorry, I’m sorry, _I’m so sorry_.”

Josh sighs. “I wanted to be the one to tell you, but it didn’t happen that way and we’ll just have to deal with that.”

He strokes the back of Tyler’s neck and holds him comfortingly.

“I still want to talk to you about it,” Josh says. “I-I...the reason I didn’t tell you about my past was because I didn't want to scare you. I didn't want you to think differently of me. I'm sorry it happened like this.”

Tyler sniffles against him. “Josh, it's nothing to be ashamed about. I could never think of you differently. You're so brave and strong. You're the strongest person I know. You're amazing.”

Tyler pulls back just enough to make eye contact with him. “You can talk to me about it whenever you're ready. I'll always be here to listen.”

“Thank you,” Josh whispers for just them.

“You're so strong,” Tyler whispers, a hand on his cheek. “You're so, so strong, Joshua.”

There are still a few tears dripping down his cheeks as Tyler leans in and connects their lips.

The kiss is salty and wet. The slow movements of Josh’s lips counter Tyler’s desperate twitches. Josh is trying to calm the spirit’s panic with a thumb stroking his cheek and a soft, soothing tongue sliding against his.

“You're okay,” Josh whispers as Tyler pulls back. “You’re okay, Tyler. _I’m_ okay.”

It should be Tyler saying that to him, but this is old news for Josh- all the abuse, all the loneliness, the fact that his mother hates him.

It's new to Tyler though, and Josh understands how hard it can be. The spirit leans his head against him again.

It’s silent for a moment as Josh simply holds Tyler by the kitchen sink, hand stroking up and down his back and lips peppering lazy kisses along his hairline.

“Tyler,” Josh breaks the silence, “this might be a really shitty time to ask you this, but would you like to go on another date with me?”

The spirit smiles against him, the laughs the statement brings him finally bringing an end to the tears. “I would love to, Josh.”

He wipes his face of any remaining tears and stands from Josh. “I-Is...is that why you haven’t kissed me since our date? You were going to wait for our next date?”

Josh smirks. “I wanted to take it slow. I didn’t want to overwhelm you.”

Tyler looks away nervously, not sure how to word it. He sucks in a broken breath.

“I-I...um,” Tyler clears his throat, “I do want to take it slow, but...I-I, um, think about kissing you a lot, and...I really want to kiss you sometimes but then I get anxious and overthink it because I don’t know if you want to and I don’t want to move too fast for you, and, it’s just that...kissing won’t overwhelm me and I really like kissing you and I’d like to discuss your boundaries when it comes to kissing so I can better respect them.”

Tyler takes a deep breath after his anxious ramble. It feels good to get it all out there and be honest.

When he looks back at Josh, the punk is looking at him with pure adoration.

Josh strokes his hair before sliding his hand to Tyler’s cheek, leaning down slowly, carefully, and pressing a chaste kiss against his lips. Tyler’s heart flutters.

“I really like kissing you, too,” Josh says close enough that Tyler can feel his breath on his lips, “and I would love to do it more often. Kissing is fine with me, Tyler, as long as you’re okay with it too.”

Tyler’s cheeks are on fire. “I’m more than okay with it.”

They share a soft smile, a quiet giggle.

“Now no more crying, alright?” Josh wipes his thumb across the drying tear tracks on the spirit’s face. “It's Thanksgiving.”

“Isn't Thanksgiving supposed to be, like, full of family drama, though?”

“I guess you're right,” Josh says with a laugh. “You're celebrating the holiday in full fashion.”

Tyler smiles. Josh kisses his forehead.

Tyler’s stomach growls a little.

“You want another plate?”

They share a mini sandwich and throw back a few more nuggets when suddenly, a bratty meow sounds near their feet.

“What do you want?” Josh teases as he looks down at the little beast.

Blurry meows loudly as she looks up at him.

“Ugh, fine! But only one!”

Josh rips up a nugget into small shreds of delicious meat and drops it onto the floor. The kitten gives a happy chirp and licks it up.

“You've created a monster, Tyler,” Josh says. “Spoiled rotten.”

Tyler laughs. “She's too cute to say no to.”

The back door opens once again that day, Jordan stepping inside the house with a piece of firewood under his arm. He looks up at them.

“Thought we could make a fire,” he says. “It’s cold enough.”

“For sure,” Josh smiles.

Jordan deposits the log into the fireplace and then lights it up with a few rolled up newspapers and a firestarter. It catches beautifully, crackling and warm. He wipes his hands on his jeans and comes around into the kitchen.

Josh tosses another nugget up into the air. Jordan catches it in his mouth. They smile at each other.

Tyler watches the brothers. They only had each other. They kept each other alive. It’s incredible.

The spirit steps over to Jordan shyly, wringing his hands in front of him. Jordan hums in question as the spirit comes closer.

“U-Um…” Tyler begins before stepping forward and wrapping his arms around him.

“Hey, Ty,” Jordan says, smile in his voice right beside confusion.

“Thank you,” Tyler whispers. “Thank you for taking care of him. Thank you for everything you did to help him. Thank you for being brave. Thank you for being such a good brother.”

Jordan’s hand rubs up and down between Tyler’s shoulder blades.

“Aw, thank you, Ty,” Jordan says gently. “It's what brothers do. And you're family too. Everyone in this house is. I'd do the same for all of you.”

Tyler appreciates that fact so much. Jordan is amazing.

“I-Is...everything okay?”

Abby stands in the entrance of the kitchen. She looks between them nervously, considering she made one of them cry, albeit unintentionally.

Josh smiles at his sister and waves her over. She walks across the kitchen, half of her own fingernails painted white, probably done while waiting for Tyler to come back.

“Everything’s okay, kid,” he says as he wraps an arm around his sister and pulls her into his side.

Tyler steps back from Jordan so the other Dun boy can join them in their hug. It’s sweet, it’s nice. Tyler watches on with no idea how it feels to have a family.

“Tyler.”

The spirit looks to Josh.

“C’mere.”

He steps forward, uncertain, but finds that he fits perfectly in the spot that is made for him between Josh and Jordan. He shuts his eyes and accepts the love and care being put in the warm hug between the four of them.

Then there’s another pair of arms being wrapped around them. And then another. Then another.

Tyler opens his eyes to see not only the Dun’s but Hayley and Mark and Michael have joined the hug as well. They all smile, they all laugh quietly, they all hug like they mean it.

Tyler doesn’t tear up but instead smiles warmly as he is surrounded by those he loves.

This is family.

This is all he ever needs.

And he’s so thankful.


End file.
